Dear Pub Waitress:
When I leave three twenty dollar bills sitting on top of a $41.00 check, I have a hint for you: I am expecting change.
As exalted an opinion that you have of your service skills, there is no fucking way I am tipping you 46% for bringing me a few beers and an appetizer.
Now, on a normal day, I would tip you 20%. I know, lots of people tip less than that. But I'm a nice person. I also figure that 20% on the post-tax ammount. So see, you would have gotten a pretty good tip from me.
But, you had to get greedy, didn't you? You thought I would just forget about that $19.00. But you were wrong. And for every step I had to take stalking around the bar to find you so I could get my fucking money, since after a half an hour waiting for you it became clear that you had no intention of bringing me my change, your tip decreased by $1.00.
Which means by the time I tracked you down hanging out in the kitchen hiding from me, you got a whopping $2.00 tip.
Stupid whore.
You're lucky you got to deal directly with me. I could have had a discussion with your manager about theft.
Sincerely,
The Bitch
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14 comments:
"Which means by the time I tracked you down hanging out in the kitchen hiding from me, you got a whopping $2.00 tip."
I personally would have left her NOTHING for STEALING from me and have even when servers don't return cents in change.
"I could have had a discussion with your manager about theft."
WHY don't you call the restaurant on this server, unless you don't know her name? I discuss ANY amount that is not returned to a manager. There's NO WAY I let servers get away with stealing from me. Even if it was a penny change, it's YOURS UNTIL YOU SAY IT'S HERS. It's the principle of it, not that I would want the penny. The fact that they are too lazy to get the change would make me not want to tip them as well, besides the fact that it is theft.
One time, my husband and I had paid with 2 ($20) gift certificates. Our check was $34.69, which he only returned a $5, because he was too LAZY to go to the bar. Not only did we stiff him for STEALING, but we also complained to the manager over 31 cents. It's the PRINCIPLE of the matter that it's the CUSTOMER'S CHANGE UNTIL THE CUSTOMER GIVES THE TIP. It's only 31 cents, but it costed him his tip all due to laziness to go to the bar to get change. It's presumcious to decide to keep the coin change as if you are getting a tip period. The fact is, it's the CUSTOMER'S MONEY at that point, NOT the server's. I feel if you get your change everywhere else, WHY just because that person makes tips they think they can just keep it?
I truly cannot believe you actually tipped this person. I feel if the sever steals from me, I will steal from my server their tip.
We hardly ever, ever pay with cash or gift certificates, but when we do, I will ALWAYS since this happened, get change to see if the person will steal from us. WHERE do they get off thinking it's theirs already? I just don't get that?
"When I leave three twenty dollar bills sitting on top of a $41.00 check, I have a hint for you: I am expecting change."
I don't care if it's a quarter that's left in change, I ALWAYS EXPECT IT BACK. Just because the person makes tips somehow they feel it gives them permission to steal it seems? I don't see someone at a grocery store or McDonald's not return my change, so WHY should they feel it's any different.
I would have definately left zero tip and would have definately complained to a manager, especially over that huge of an amount. I don't feel you should have to say you want change, because it should be COMMON SENSE you do REGARDLESS of the amount of change there is to give the customer.
Holy shit, could you USE any more capital letters to MAKE your point? This space is for comments, not full length rants.
P.S. Judging by your blog, you have way too much time on your hands. Did you realize that you don't have to start an entire new blog every time you want to vent your spleen??
Dear. God. Someone married you?
anastasia
"This space is for comments, not full length rants."
This space is for COMMENTS AS ***LONG*** AS THEY WANT TO BE. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO TELL ME HOW MUCH I CAN SAY? A comment can be long or short. Rants can be comments as well.
"Did you realize that you don't have to start an entire new blog every time you want to vent your spleen??"
Did you realize that you have NO SAY SO WHAT-SO-EVER in what I decide to post about? WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
the lady in red
"Dear. God. Someone married you?"
Well OF COURSE, because I'm NOT FAT and YOU ARE! I would be suprised if you were married personally. I look WAY THE HELL BETTER THAN YOU DO. It doesn't look like you can fit into a size 2dress by your chubby cheeks.
WHY wouldn't someone want me? I have been married since May of 2002, so apparently you must be JEALOUS or something?
What does fitting into a size two dress have to do with anything at all? I notice your profile has no photo, so really, you could be lying. You could have a face like the ass-end of my dog. You could be an 800 pound shut-in just making shit up. Hell, you could be a man in a dirty undershirt getting off on trolling blogs.
I think someone is not only psychotic, but looking to get banned.
Who am I to tell you how long your rant/comment can be? I am an observant individual who knows some basic blog etiquette, of which evidently you have no awareness.
Who do I think I am? Someone with a brain and an education, and enough self-esteem to not spend my entire life spewing hatred and nonsense on other people's blogs.
Who are you? Well, I'm guessing you are an extremely bitter, lonely person. You may be married, you may not be. No one cares.
But when you start calling other people names, when this is NOT your blog, you merely reinforce my suspicion that you are a socially inept shut-in with limited skills and few human characteristics.
Michelle L.
"What does fitting into a size two dress have to do with anything at all?"
The fact that "the lady in red" called me "illiterate" on my own blog which is offending me for no reason what-so-ever when I NEVER offended her in ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM as well as act as if it's amazing I am married. What does what I write about have to do with being married? The fact that she has NO ROOM WHAT-SO-EVER to offend me when she has LITERALLY NO ROOM to talk herself considering she is FAT.
Also, some people that are fat have a hard time finding a mate. I had a few problems because of the fact a lot of guys do NOT want a commitment and a lot just want sex. Weight though has NEVER been an issue as it PROBABLY was for her I see since she's fat. She has no right to tell me anything mean, when she cannot take a GOOD LOOK AT HERSELF FIRST.
"I notice your profile has no photo, so really, you could be lying. You could have a face like the ass-end of my dog. You could be an 800 pound shut-in just making shit up. Hell, you could be a man in a dirty undershirt getting off on trolling blogs."
WHY in the world would I risk getting poisoned or spit in my food from people that actuallY CAN find me by the restaurants I frequent? The bitter servers out there are lazy and don't care about customers. They feel they are ENTITLED to at least 15% tip. If I had my picture up, I wouldn't be able to go to any restaurants to get decent service in my area. What kind of life that would be you know?
I AM telling you the TRUTH about my weight and my gender. I have NO REASON WHAT-SO-EVER to LIE. Do you honestly think it would even be SAFE to post my picture? Someone can just hunt me down to kill me over this, because there are crazy people out there you know. Also, I wouldn't post my picture on the internet just because I don't want some psycho stalking me or hunting me down even if I had blogs that agreed with servers and weren't complaint blogs. So today, it's truly NOT the safest thing to be posting your picture all over the world for people to see.
anastasia
"I think someone is not only psychotic"
HOW am I "psychotic?" I am a NORMAL PERSON. It's YOU that is probably "psychotic."
"I am an observant individual who knows some basic blog etiquette, of which evidently you have no awareness."
WHO THE HELL SAID ANYTHING ABOUT PEOPLE HAD TO POST WITH "ETIQUETTE?" WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, CONTROLLING PERSON?
"Someone with a brain and an education, and enough self-esteem to not spend my entire life spewing hatred and nonsense on other people's blogs."
I have a brain, education, and self-esteem. It's one's OPINION that it's "nonsense."
"Who are you? Well, I'm guessing you are an extremely bitter, lonely person. You may be married, you may not be. No one cares."
I am married and obviously "the lady in red" cares that she mentioned it. I am NOT "lonely", because I am very happily married.
"But when you start calling other people names, when this is NOT your blog, you merely reinforce my suspicion that you are a socially inept shut-in with limited skills and few human characteristics."
She called me "illiterate" on my blog, so I can call her AS I PLEASE. Considering she STARTED the childish name calling, I will continue with the childish behavior she started. I will NOT let someone bash me without bashing them back. She had NO RIGHT to call me that. She got mean first, when honestly she has NO REAL ROOM TO TALK when she's got a weight problem. She should NOT be calling someone "illiterate" to begin with. That's just plain mean. She was mean, so I treated her the SAME EXACT WAY BACK.
Does anyone else see the delightful irony in the fact that our new little friend is posting these comments on a blog called "Holy Shit You're a Douche?"
Because I am quite enjoying it, myself.
Not to mention, why do you keep harping on this size thing? Why must you continue to point out that you are a size two?
When the main point of your argument rests on "you're fat, I'm not" it only further cements my certainly that not only are you a liar when you say you are a size two, but that you really are an 800 lb shut-in who has to wash with a rag on a stick.
Yep, you're a fatty. No other explanation for it.
A fatty and a liar with nothing better to do with their lives than write diatribes on the internet.
I can see you now, lolling in your super-reinforced bed with your laptop resting on your Jabba-like gut. Trying to make yourself feel better by insulting normal-size people and claiming to be a size two.
Want some more mozzarella sticks, fatty?
Wow. I'm offended. Or not. Your pathetic rantings and continued assertions of your thinness only confirm the patheticness of your existance. Please, stay in your brick house and give my condolonces to your 'husband' next time you change the batteries.
Oh, Red, I don't think you have to worry about her staying in her house. Especially since they would probably have to cut a wall down to get her out. I think that once you reach that "rag on a stick" level of obesity that you can't just go out the door and climb in a car.
Although, I would think, given all the spare time she/he/it so clearly has on their hands that they would take some time to actually learn the English language. Then perhaps their posts would only be difficult to read because of the sheer vitriol and not because they are essentially incomprehensible.
Didn't you hear? It's got an associates degree. We should all be intimidated by its intellectual prowess. AND, AND it still wears the same clothes it wore in 8th grade. No doubt because it can't get out the door to buy new ones. I wonder if they'll be able to find a crane strong enough to lift it into the piano box for burial when it dies.
Ah, yes. My PhD pales in comparison. Probably because I'm fat.
As do my two bachelor's degrees and my credentials. The fat gets in the way, I suppose.
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