Calling you a douche is an insult to douches everywhere

Well, you finally got your way. You've been gunning for me for a long time, in ways subtle and overt, and at long last you're triumphant.

You fucked up. You fuck up a lot, but are usually able to save your ass, or someone else saves it for you. This time you blamed it on me, and since nothing was in writing it came down to your word against mine.

You sat there and lied to my face (although it's possible that you actually believe your lies, which perhaps excuses you) and watched me get fired from my job that I've had for almost five years.

Then you got up, went into your office, and continued your self-absorbed, odd task of taking pictures of yourself every day. Yes, the Daily Photo is an important part of your routine, using your company laptop, often on company time. Who does that?

This is who:


I don't think your collection of crosses will save you in the long run.

More skills required

I realize there are issues. Growing pains, I get it. Change is hard and it can be difficult to come through unscathed. However, having arrived at your position in life I would have hoped that you would have acquired better ways of talking with people. Its about ownership of the truth, and facing realities and learning how to express those things in a mature manner that gets things accomplished.
You were blunt, hurtful and counter productive. You got your point across, to be sure, but those in your way were left completely deflated. Inadequate skill set? Inability to find work in the industry? With two sentences and you managed to make 2 years of someones life seem completely fruitless. You didn't even bother to listen and you certainly didn't look at her work. She is very talented and thank God she is strong enough in herself to continue of her path. I just hope that all of the others are also strong enough to continue on despite your poorly worded statements.
I'm also wondering how pleased your higher-ups would be to hear that you plainly stated that all the money and time we spent is a complete waste and that the admissions department is just there to openly lie to people to get them to blow their money on a useless program. Why don't you just go back to your home office and take a long hard look at your interpersonal communication skills.
Have a safe flight back to Texas and please, don't hurry back now, y'hear?

At a loss.

Right now I am having a really hard time figuring out who is pissing me off more. The Loser or you for thinking the shit storm going on in your life right now is somehow your fault. When the fuck did you become this freakin codependent enabler? You are not at all the person I have known for the past 8 years.
I realize you are struggling right now, but you have to make a good, healthy choice here. Accommodating your baby daddy is really not getting you anywhere. He is a Straight. Up. Loser. and his presence in your life is not at all positive. Check the facts: He is 37 years old, has no car, lives on his mothers couch and has no traceable income to help get you guys a place to live except for the bar.
The bar... where he works 3 night a week so he can justify his speed use and I'm betting that's where he met one, if not all, of the three girls he was cheating on you with while you were pregnant.
And I'm sure it was just those pesky drugs that caused him to throw you down on you bed by the neck and hold a knife to your throat. Remember that? I know you try very hard not to. That morning I went with you to the courthouse and help you fill out the paperwork to get the restraining order and full custody order for your daughter? Yeah, that day, when you had those horrible bruises all over your neck and chest. The man you are trying SO hard to accommodate GAVE YOU THOSE when you caught HIM CHEATING. Again, NONE of that was your fault and you did NOTHING to deserve that.
I know you don't want to do it alone right now, I understand. but he is not worth being essentially homeless and sleeping on the floor with your 6 month old. Please! GO HOME! Get back on your feet with your family for 6 months or a year. I know you don't think the schools there are adequate but you have 5+ years to worry about that.
I am at a complete loss as to what to say to you right now. I can't make you help yourself. I wish I could. I feel helpless and I know you are feeling that too.
All I ask is that you open your eyes to the WHOLE situation and for fucks sake, make a good choice.

Dear Clueless Truck Lines LLC

I would like to thank you for your recent interest in retaining the services of my repair company, however I do not at this time feel that we can be of any help to you. Your request to "fax over a copy of our check" at such time as repairs have been completed has been deemed unacceptable by our Accounting Department. Actually that's not entirely true. Once we finished laughing uproariously, we came to the collective decision that we would, in fact, consider your request on the condition that you agree to accept a faxed picture of a truck being repaired as us having performed an actual service call for your company.

Feel free to mull over this proposition and get back to me at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,
Bitch with a Clue, CFO
No Fucking Way Inc.

Dear Ms. Weak Sauce

It's come to my attention that you have, without permission, copied my friend's very personal and candid blog, and reposted it on your own MySpace blog.

True, you've acknowledged that someone else wrote it. But why on EARTH would you do this without receiving explicit permission first?

Do you not have the time to write something reflecting your own thoughts? I know you have the ability, I used to enjoy your blogs.

You're articulate, you have a brain. Use it! Stop this "poor stupid me, stuck as a housewife" bullshit and step up. Jesus Christ on a bicycle.

Sincerely,

Someone Who Wants to Rip Your Heart Out and Feed it To You

Life at What Cost?

You there, marching up and down the sidewalk sporting photos of fetuses in various stages, both intact and mutilated. Yeah, I'm talking to you. I have a few questions:

• Why must you force your beliefs on me? I'm not trying to force you to have an abortion, nor am I even insisting you approve of abortion. I'm telling you that it's my damned uterus, and my life that will be impacted if by chance birth control fails me.

• Where in the Bible does it state that life begins at conception? Quote chapter and verse, please.

• If I were to get pregnant, and be stricken with health complications and have to quit my job, would you support me? Would you pay for daycare after the child is born?

• And here's the most important question: exactly how many children have you adopted? It better be a large number, or you're a hypocritical douchebag asshole.

BACK OFF BITCH

Listen dumb ass, if you don't back off and take a chill pill, I'm going to give you the tongue lashing of a life time. When I'm done, I'm going to kick your ass in a public display of rage. I'll sell tickets. I will make a fortune. NO ONE and I mean NO ONE likes you. You're bitter, bizarre and clearly, loyalty is a foreign concept. Guess what? They DO like me. Nothing would give my allies more pleasure than watching me beat the ever-loving crap out of you.

BACK OFF BITCH.

Stop peeping around my cube wall. Stop hovering over my assistant. Stop throwing me under the bus everytime someone lodges a complaint about our department. Get a pair. Has it ocurred to you that perhaps they are being unreasonable or that perhaps they are wrong? When the company nut files a complaint, let's take a moment to evaluate. She's a nut. She's got a reputation for being unstable and disorganized. So, why then, would you automatically assume she's right about anything? Oh yeah, I forgot, you don't know shit either. That's why.

BACK OFF BITCH.

You do realize that every single one of your employees is looking for another job. ALL OF THEM. They all loathe and despise you. Why, you ask? Oh, I dunno, perhaps because you're a total bitch without an ounce of care or compassion for your employees. It could be that. Or perhaps it's that you rarely make eye contact and when you do, you can't sustain it. It's creepy. Know what that tells me? Mentally unstable. Not to be trusted. Your actions have proven my theory time and again.

Someday soon, I'll be happily employed by an actual human being. Me and my boatload of experience are packing our bags. Good luck with all the newbies. Where will this leave you? Fucked. Wanna know why? Because you're an incompetent ass. You don't know how to do jack shit! Do you have any idea what I do or how I do it? No worries, you'll find out soon. Oh, and don't waste your time looking for written instructions either. The files of documentation that outline my duties and the accompanying instructions that could have saved your sorry ass, will be long gone.

Smooches!
One Seriously Pissed Off Employee