I am sorry that your mother sucked at life and failed to teach you manners or how to be a considerate human being. But you're a big boy now and are capable of learning on your own. Pull your head out of your ass, quit being a dick, and don't ever touch my alarm clock again, lest you pull back a nub after moving that switch. An apology wouldn't hurt things either.
Sincerely,
The bitch who carries your nuts around in her purse
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