You Stupid Hag

How dare you. That young man adores you. He spent the entire weekend overjoyed at finally being able to spend time with you. Every chance he got, he sat next to you, talked to you, smiled at you, told you how much he loves you and how happy he was to see you again. And how did you repay him? You called him fat and made fun of him. Not that his brother fared any better, because according to you he's too thin and should also be mocked.

I have no idea what makes you think you are any sort of nutritional expert but I have news for you, you. are. clueless. You have spent your entire life trying to kill yourself by eating nothing but deep fried food and right now I'm sorry you didn't succeed. You have eaten and smoked your way into having a heart attack and chronic health problems, yet you have the nerve to insult a young man for wanting a salad with his meal. You should truly be ashamed of yourself. I know I certainly am.

If you ever again try to make either of my children feel bad about themselves I will not quietly correct you in order to refrain from making a scene in public the way I did today. No, if you are ever fortunate enough to even see those boys again and you make the choice to insult either one of them I will stand up and slap the wig off your fat little Cajun head, and it doesn't matter to me if I have to go through your husband to do it.

Firmly,
The Mother of your Grandchildren