Hey Moron

That's right, I'm talking to you, the asshole that just tried to take out the side of my car.

Here's the deal pal, I was making a legal U-turn, from the turn lane, on a protected arrow. You were running a red light to turn right and didn't even slow down or check for traffic. You're the one in the wrong and for you to throw a fit when I called you on it only makes you look like an ass. You're lucky I honked because it saved you a check from your insurance company. Had I not been feeling so generous I would have let you hit me and had an awesome Holiday Season on your dime. You totally owe me for that one.

Oh and another thing, you know the guy in the semi you cut off when you were trying to give me the finger, talk on your phone, hold your cup of coffee and drive all at the same time? Yeah, well he works for me. Not only did we direct-connect each other to laugh about you shitting yourself when he blasted you with his air horn and you looked in your rearview mirror to see nothing but his grill, but I just might buy him lunch tomorrow for brightening up my day. If I can track down the woman you cut off to get away from the semi, I'll buy her lunch too.

Do the world a favor, the next time you get behind the wheel try to have your head on the outside of your ass, mmmkay?


Squeezy Hugs,
The Wrong Bitch to Mess With in Traffic