You know, I'm cool with the fact that I share 95% of my genetic material with a chimpanze. You know what is NOT cool? That I share even more than that with you. Seriously, dude. I think you were switched at the hospital, because you are too stupid for us to be related.
Why don't you man up, grow a pair, and stop blaming our mother for every bad decision you make?
Got drunk and crashed your car? Must have been that miserable childhood we had.
Married a crack whore? I guess Mom should have let you express your individuality more.
Lost your job? Again? If you had only gotten that pony you wanted for your tenth birthday that wouldn't have happened.
Still can't find a house and get out of Mom's basement? Man, if she had only not kept you from seeing your father. Yeah, that one. The one that beat the shit out of her and me. The one that never paid a dime of fucking child support and even though his inlaws lived ACROSS THE FUCKING STREET FROM US, visited us one time in six years. And when he showed up he was drunk. Yeah, too bad you didn't get to spend weekends and summers with that total fucking piece of shit.
But you know what? We all had miserable fucking childhoods. So what don't you man up and grow a pair, mkay?
Mom doesn't owe you shit and the next time you throw one of your entitlement tantrums I will. fucking. cut. you. Yeah, I'll give you something to cry about for real you whiny fucking pussy.
Why don't you grow the fuck up, quit leeching off your parents, and set an example for your kids. If you can't manage to do that you fucking moron, why don't you just sign the kids over to your mother and fuck the hell off?
Sincerely,
Your Loving Sister
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