Tuesday, October 30, 2007

I Don't Want To See...

Your ass crack. Under any circumstances. Get a belt. Get a longer shirt. Get pants that fit. Wear a friggin' cape. COVER IT UP - BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. Duct tape. Surgically implant Velcro on your lower back and then on the waistband of all your pants/shorts/skirts.

I'm giving you fair warning right now, you know who you are...if I see it again...I'm going to mercilessly mock and embarrass you. I will point. I will snicker. I will make a SCENE. I will yell, "I CAN SEE YOUR ASS CRACK! EW! IS THAT POO? DID YOU SHIT UP YOUR BACK?"

And while we're on the topic, I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FLABBY MUFFIN TOP OF A BELLY EITHER. Cover that chub up. Unless you're 2 or you've got abs like Gwen Stefanni give us a break. If you need to stretch and you know your milky white Pooh-bear belly is going to be exposed, here's an idea...go somewhere private. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT come over to my desk to do your yoga moves while you blab about nothing. I can't hear you anyway, because I'm too busy trying not to throw up.

Sincerely,
Ms. Yougottabefuckinkiddingme

3 comments:

KlevaBich said...

Bless you. Really.

signed,
Our Lady of La Grange

The Lady in Red said...

Bwahahaha! The whale tail is not cute on anyone, much less an actual whale. You are teh awesome!

Michelle said...

A cape sounds like a fantastic solution. Fashionable, yet functional.